Tuesday, January 24, 2012

simple advice...

"accept it... change it... or move on"

My Nonnie reminded me of this simple piece of advice that my Papa used to give (if you knew the man, you wouldn't be surprised at these blunt words... he didn't beat around the bush... he was a take it or leave it straight-forward kinda guy). These words, although simple, were the prefect way to sum up our past week. While it has been an incredibly difficult and sad week, it has also been a reality check to embrace the life we have been given and be ready for any change-ups that will surely be along the way (I'm beginning to look at life as a marathon of hurdles... its how we pace ourselves in between those hurdles that will help us succeed in this life race- corny... I know, but it's what came to mind.... okay- really corny). After the initial shock wore off, sadness and acceptance that this is a "non-changeable" situation kicked in... and I have to say that having an incredibly supportive family and beautiful little girl really helped Ryan and I with the "move on" phase... While we will always remember the child we won't get to meet here on earth, our focus is on our beautiful little girl that we have already been blessed with and whats in store for our little White Family future.
I haven't really been in a blogging mood... so here is a quick look back at where we've been and where we're headed after this life-changing week. (ps... the picture quality is lame because I used my phone for quick snap shots throughout the week)
I can help make dinner mommy... does bear soup work for you? (she seriously was the best medicine for this mommy's heart)

Mom is on a "get-her-body-back-in-shape-and-healthy-before-getting-pregnant-again" kick... so I'll have a kale and spinach breakfast smoothie each day... mmmmm green goodness :)

this darn sinus infection refuses to leave me alone... Doctor's office twice in one week for this sick lil' bug (second round of antibiotics seem to be doing the trick)
PERFECT way to cap off our week. (the rainbow... not the rain)

a hiccup in my party planning... but I finally got all 40 handmade shower invites out on time! The show must go on :)


picture worth a thousand words. <3 her

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us this week.... I cannot tell you enough how touched I was (and Ryan as well) to know that so many people responded with messages, phone calls, texts, etc... honestly I figured just our immediate family and friends would read and know what was going on, but the outpouring of love and support have been incredible in the healing process. Thank you :)




Tuesday, January 17, 2012

30 days...

... until I turn 30. In lieu of new years resolutions (who actually keeps those anyway?!)... I thought since this is a big year (you only turn 3 decades once in a lifetime), I would reflect on my journey the past 29 years (more importantly the last decade which has had the most immediate effect on where my life is now), and my "goals" for my 30th year.

Things I accomplished/learned/endured:
- discovered my passion for wanting to have a positive impact on the lives of children (fancy way for saying- the classroom is where I feel at home)... also discovered if you let one lousy professor (who later got fired- go figure) decide your fate... you will regret it (I gave up on my chem prerequisite courtesy of her)

- graduated with my BA in Liberal Studies
- found my best-friend for life where/when I least expected (I'll save our "story" for another post one day), got married
-decided I love to learn (nerd party of one!)... went back to school for my masters and credential
-discovered I want to be Ghandi in the classroom (be the positive change you wish to see in the lives of impressionable children)
-survived and learned I can teach and enjoy kindergarten, special-ed pre-k AND sixth grade (much to my surprise it was one of my greatest and stressful experiences ever)

-graduated on Friday, got laid off on a Monday...
-shortly after discovered God's plan was for me to be a teacher/mother/and homemaker (does anyone even use that word anymore?)  to Jayme who came along later that year
-found that unconventional friendships can be the most inspiring
-realized I really love party planning, and paper crafting (how mommish does that sound?!)
-discovered that death and suffering sucks. and cancer. Realized my mother-in-law was one tough cookie who will always be an inspiration to me (in memory)... also realized that no matter how good a family seems to be holding it together, when the glue goes away, greed and ugliness find their way to dismantle a family in no time...
-realized my heroes are not the "superman" type, but rather they are well into their 80's (and 90's) and have endured and lived life in a way that inspires me everyday (both in my marriage and life in general)- my gramps and Ryan's grandma have both been incredible in care-taking their spouse to the very end no matter how difficult the task (emotionally and physically)
-realized that life is empty without fellowship and friends to support (no matter how awesome your marriage... friends play a critical role in life)
-realized that counting blessings can include those which are not obvious (the ability to have good credit in order to survive this economy and without a job... God's timing with having Jayme- biggest. blessing. ever.)
-realized how easy it is to take life for granted, and how crappy divorce is on a family even if you are all adults
-realized i want to spend the next decade focused on my "small family" thriving (instead of surviving) and try to be as selfless as possible (sounds lame... but until you become a parent, you don't realize how difficult it is to transition from selfish to selfless- gone are the days of shopping sprees and endless "me time")

my inspiration

I could go on, but this is the general gist (I'm sure I probably forgot something(s)

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot..."

As Ryan and I sat somberly in the surgery waiting room this morning, I saw this verse in the National Geographic, and it struck a major chord with me. My all time favorite verse (since high school) has been Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Still one of my faves, but after the past 24 hours, I needed to hear encouraging words ... "this too shall pass" and "to everything there is a season" (this song comes to mind). Yesterday's reality check involved realizing how I took for granted the sweet sound of a baby's heartbeat... life is not a guarantee. death is. whether you are ready or not to accept it. During my routine monthly checkup the doctor couldn't find our baby's heartbeat, and as he magnified the ultrasound all I could see was the lifeless blob of white on the screen (looked like a banana, which has now given me a complex when I see the bananas on our counter and am brought to tears). 
Then the words, "yeahhhh, I'm just not seeing a heartbeat." Just a couple days shy of 12 weeks (and a week and a few days from making it to the coveted second trimester), our second child-to-be left this life and 24 hours later- my body. I immediately drew comfort in knowing that he/she is in Heaven meeting his/her nana. I know that one day we will get to meet our little angel. The past 48 hours have been a whirl wind of tests, waiting, coping, questioning (was it the sushi? the trip down the stairs? stress?), and learning to understand that I just happened to be in that odd 3% of people that have a pregnancy that is bound to fail eventually even if it is past the 7-8 week mark. 
This morning I spent my first of 30 days counting down to 30, in the hospital having a D&C. Clearly not a "light and easy topic" to talk to their patients about, I have to say that the nurses and care team @ St. Jude were INCREDIBLE, especially the random hugs and comfort in knowing your not alone (and sadly it could be worse- we could have known the gender and developed a deeper bond, or I could have been 7 months along and had to deliver a still born... I'll count this as a crazy blessing that I will hopefully be able to accept soon enough). The most peace I found today was the discharge nurse who held me and asked to pray over me (is this normal?! or did God just know it was what I needed?) 
Hopefully, as time passes and I continue to count down the days until the big 3-0, I am confident that my faith, family, and friends will comfort our loss and help as we turn a new chapter in our little White Family. 

Monday, December 26, 2011

joy to the small world...


This Christmas was special in its own way... bittersweet really. This was our first Christmas without Ryan's mom, and without seeing any of his family... this season made us realize even more than ever how she was the glue that held the family together, and how dearly missed she is. All of us kids spent Christmas Eve with my mom, then after church we all went to my dad's to spend the night and wake up to a traditional Christmas morning breakfast. I think we are all growing accustomed to Jayme being the only one who gets presents... and this year was nothing short of being spoiled and loved on by her aunts/uncle, grampa, and nana! With plenty of surprises under the tree, Jayme had a surprise of her own to share on Christmas...

helping nana grate eat the cheese for chicken tortilla casserole

exploring a nice neighbor-lady's tree house (so awesome... i took enough pictures so ryan can one day recreate this!)

Christmas morning breakfast preparations
sock-monkey jack-in-the-box... smelling her new authentic cowgirl boots from taycie... trying out her new trike from uncle alex... stylin' with her new threads, boots, and finger in the nose (not pretty)... playing with grampa

 
 Jayme shares with Tacyie
 
Jayme's present to grampa Christmas morning











Wednesday, December 7, 2011

santa visit...

As we waited in line to get our picture with Santa, I grew anxious wondering if this would be the year everyone with kids has warned me about (just FYI-Brea Mall Santa is the best! The guy is the nicest and most legit looking Santa I've EVER seen... beard, jolly red cheeks and all!) Last year was great... Jayme snuggled, played with his beard, and even smiled for the camera! This year however... not so thrilled to sit on Santa's lap... She was all smiles and waves excited to see this jolly old man, UNTIL I placed her on his lap.... all I can say is- priceless.


Jury is still out on whose reaction is better... Santa or Jayme???

Santa is composed... Jayme is not

at this point I am sweating trying to dance and entertain her to get a hint of a smile

creeped out or being tickled???

"mommmmmmaaa"
"alright. you got your smirk/smile... are we done now?"  

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Parker Family Gender Reveal...


As soon as Calista told me she was pregnant, I begged to throw them a gender reveal party (where I got this idea??? why Pinterest of course! Try explaining that to the people who had never heard of a Gender Reveal OR Pinterest ...) After convincing Robert it would be "fun" to find out what the baby was going to be in front of family and friends, Calista's mom, Kelly, and I got to planning. After their ultrasound, the technician put the gender revealing ultrasound picture in a double sealed envelope (so mom-to-be wouldn't be tempted to peak before handing over the top secret info)... 3 weeks later (felt like forever with such a huge secret on my plate!)... friends and family gathered to celebrate the newest Parker-to-be's gender reveal.


the decor... dessert.... and the reveal box

the guests... sporting their team blue/team pink colors

the reveal! It's a BOY!!!! (Calista continues to be outnumbered)
big-brother-to-be... pretty excited about his correct guess annnnnd the box


The Reveal Video 

Friday, December 2, 2011

18 months...



 
It has been a whirlwind of life happenings since you have been in our lives these last 18 months… I can’t believe how you seem to grow right before our eyes in the course of a one hour nap or overnight! It’s as if we can see the learning and growing process in everything you do. You are constantly trying to mimic and learn new tasks… you love to try things yourself before asking for help (stubborn). You are one of the most social butterflies of a baby we know (even though you are technically a toddler, you’ll always be our baby girl)… You have such a sweet demeanor that quickly turns into a passionate sassy little girl when you don’t get your way (sometimes I think there is a 16 yr old inside you!), and back to sweet again when we’ve distracted you. I know I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… your laugh and giggles are infectious and bring so much joy to your daddy and I. I hope that spark of pure joy and laughter never fades in you as you grow. I don’t even know where to begin with your milestones, so here we go:

~You have a beautiful set of teeth (lucky for us they all came in pretty quick- teething is no fun for anyone!)
~You are a monkey who likes to climb anything and everything, including the kitchen table!
~You make the cutest sounds for a monkey, puppy/dog, kitty, cow, duck (qua-qua), sheep, monster… and let’s not forget Ariel (ahhh-ahhh-AHHH)
~You FINALLY started saying momma!
~You are a total girly-girl who insists on wearing shoes (preferably your pink crocs) right when you get out of bed, until bath or bedtime… same goes for your headbands. However, you take falls, spills and slams into the furniture with such grace (you typically get up laughing or say “uh-oh” when most kids would be crying!)
~You prefer to be a vegetarian (unless its steak or fish – go figure)… Lima beans are your absolute favorite (we’ve used them to bribe you to finish the rest of your meal)
~You are learning to pronounce words (still complete baby babble, but we semi-understand your dialect), even though you depend on your sign language to communicate for the most part
~signs you use regularly- please, thank you, eat, more, all done, help,  book, yogurt, ball, baby, play, shoes, bink (one you created on your own), on/off, friend, home, and daddy
~your favorite words to say (with such emphasis it cracks us up): hi, bye, shoes, gampa, bebba, taycie, baby, bath (you LOVE bath time almost as much as you love your shoes)
~you’re an entertainer… the words “happy feet” tell you its time to dance wherever and whenever… you are a total ham when you see a camera (on your terms of course)
~you’re a fantastic hugger (your hugs and kisses brighten up any mood)… your daddy especially loves your hugs

I love that you love to read your books, you love to laugh, you love to dance and act silly with your mommy, you give great bear hugs and kisses, you love to be outside, you love Barney and The Wiggles (even though I can’t stand either)… I love every moment we have had you in our lives these past 18 months, and I can only imagine how much you will grow in the next several months to come… we are both so proud of the little girl you are blossoming into.
Love, Daddy and Momma


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Better late than never!

I'm not a huge Halloween fan, so when it came time to pick a costume, I looked to Pinterest  (the new Google for inspiration on all things crafty, tasty, pretty, genius, and fabulous!) for some crafty cute inspiration... Instantly, I decided I was going to make Jayme this adorable peacock ... until I started doing the math on the feathers and accessories ($50+ for a toddler to take a cute picture was out of our budget and insane)! Since we weren't planning on taking her trick r' treating this year, I decided to go with a Costco (affordable) costume that she could help us hand out candy in. I picked out the last of the 18month costumes for her to choose from (cow, chick, lady bug, monkey)... and OF COURSE my child picks the one costume that is the furthest thing from girly! What does one do when their child is excited to be a gender neutral monkey (I still think boyish) costume for Halloween????? Add some bows and pink of course!!! I had grand plans for the pink additions, and when it cam time to get it done or let her be a boy monkey... I ended up just throwing a headband around the tail, some bows we already had on the ears, and of course no outfit (even Halloween) is complete without her absolute favorite shoes- pink crocs (seriously- she can't be without them: getting out of bed- crocs, getting out of the bath- crocs, Sunday best- crocs, pajamas-crocs... the list goes on and its hilarious and ridiculous all in the same)! Halloween came, and when we realized our only trick r' treater was her friend down the street, we decided to go show the neighbors our costume and stall time waiting for Aunt Tay... so the monkey got to go trick r' treating after all!

counting the candy to be handed out

she decided to take the pass out candy with her trick r' treating

"come on mom!"

note ugly pink (dirty) crocs

Happy Halloween!

Monday, October 24, 2011

96 years and still a character...


 We all got together on Sunday to celebrate our Gramps' 96th birthday... only 4 more years until triple digits and a massive party (and Lord willing I believe we will get to have a big 100th bash to celebrate)! How many 96 year-olds do you know that still bowl (in a league and WELL... better than me), drive (although this is up for debate if driving past 85-90 should even be permitted... but he still does and has a clean accident/ticket record), and use a cell phone?! After taking care of Grams for several years as she became bed-ridden (which is daunting enough for anyone of any age, let alone a 90 year old)... he still has a spring in his step (a clumsy step sometimes- apparently where I get my klutziness from), a standard Smith family goof-ball sense of humor, and a sharp as a tack noggin to boot! I can only hope I have his genes :-) 

from the top: love the faces on all three (left to right-anticipation, concern, and pure joy)... spoiled with ice cream... aunt tay feeding her split pea soup... the birthday boy in becca's hat... bebba having a bad influence on my child
the table next to us decided to sing happy birthday after the entire restaurant sang their version

post lunch family time

time for more birthday celebration (note the same blue candle from the restaurant... we forgot our own candles)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

pumpkin patch round 2....

 This time we went to Irvine Regional Park with our girlfriends Kristi and Riley and new girlfriends (and 3 new baby boyfriends)... after a looooonnnnng weekend of being strapped into a seat, carrier, stroller, or being held, Jayme thoroughly enjoyed being able to run around with the girls.
her face is priceless... enter caption here"....."

greeting her friend Kyren (we <3 her boots!)

Jayme coaching Riley as she attempts to lift a giant pumpkin
"you can dooooooo it Kyren!!!"
the girls exploring the pumpkin pile

the boys strapped onto their mamas

measuring up

double checking

Jaymestein

clearly she's not having any fun...
if only we knew what they were talking about

"what do you mean 'no'?!?!"

train ride

she was super excited to be riding the train